Where is my life heading?
- I asked myself countless times
What is my purpose?
- Question with unstable answers
Why is he following me?
- I’m terrified
That man in white, he always appeared to disappear
He wore an oversized, white velvet robe with over proportioned shoulder guards
The shoulder guards, soaked in black, extended a quarter of an arm’s length from his shoulder, ending in a small curl
The edges were coloured in dark red, a mysterious colour
His robe was an elegant white that flowed his hidden body
His gold rimmed edges of his overgrown robe, dragged fearlessly near the spoilt earth and had collected dirt throughout its honorable age
His hair was black, with a hint of plum to its edges, as it dropped down, hanging all around him
Hair like a web ever this mysterious handle like object that peered over his left shoulder, awaiting to be grasped by those extremely whitened hand
The opposite ending was sharp and pointed out vigorously from behind his right hip
His lips were dark purple, not that of any simple human
- He was exceptionally different
Sprouts of lines crossed his visage as his figure faced mine
I blushed as he kept his charming stare
His eyes were never the same breathtaking colour, but forever changing
From luscious, ocean blue that you would find divine to plunge into
To a dark, blood red surrounded by a thick, blackened ring so it would not escape its own form
His jaw line was perfectly visible and had no fault
The cheek bone would show itself, just so much as a glimpse
His skin was deathly white, but looked so tender and moist
Yet at the thought of touching his naked skin
I would not be so lucky to survive
I had grown content with this mysterious man always near
- A sense of security
I had attempted to speak with him, but he could see nor hear me
I had stayed by his side, in wonder about the unusual behavior
For one day he gradually parted his jaws, in an attempt to sound his voice
- Oh, what pain it was
That painful, bitter screech was horrid, it was as if it were biting and tearing its way through my ears, then subsided
From what was the most disturbing sound ever imagined, became the most beautiful and harmonizing sound to my stinging ear
- It was well worth the pain
He had begun to produce an incredibly –what it seemed to be- song
Even with no instruments, it vibrated and echoed within me
- I loved and joined every passing beat
It was then, that I decided abruptly, to end my miserable life
After hearing such a thing, I knew I would die privileged of hearing something greater than a masterpiece itself
I went to bed puzzled and confused of what I wanted
I fell into a hazy dream of things I had wanted
I dreamt of the first man I loved, the same man I ravished for the first time with my beauty
It was a powerful dream I wished never to forget
I was but an inch away from forgetting it was a dream
- And awoke
It was early morning and the sun had already risen with countless drops of dew scattered amongst the inanimate objects
I had almost passed a coffee shop and to my surprise, caught something shockingly similar to me
I saw an old, bitter woman, well into her eighties, drinking her morning tea
She had silvery hair, a flailing fringe dangling infront of her wrinkled face, and hair carefully combed over the ears in an attempt to cover where it pointed
Her skin looked that of a combination, not too moist and not stone dry
- A replacement of past perfection
In her seat, she hunched over her tea cup, both hands alongside as if to gather warmth
Her hands were shaking profusely, which made her seem uneasy
Her dusty old coat hung low to the ground, covering even her shoes
Dirty and covered with fluff, it was a habitat to thousands of mites
The waitress, shocked by the reaction of the horrid woman, wept as she turned and made her leave
The elder seemed lonely, sipped her frothed tea as if to say she had all the time in the world and no one would come knocking on her door
- Besides death ofcoarse
I had tried to pass this incident light heartedly and continued
I entered the park in an unusual manner, falling over the first bench
- How clumsy of me
I knelt down to tie my lovely pink laces I recovered from where it grabbed hold of the bench
I decided to double knot it so it would not loosen yet again
As I pulled it tight, in the corner of my delicate eye, I had noticed white material pass behind me
I felt ice cold matter brush against my shoulder, a wave of insecurity swept over me
A cold, tingling chill ran up my spine and rolled to an end near my cranium
The coldness had a mind of its own, it crept through my shaking body, entering every last nerve there was to offer
My hands grew unwillingly numb and my face turned deathly pale
I had lost all colour of life within an instant
From golden honey brown, to a cold, faded blue
To my surprise I could not step forward, only attempt to
- My body wouldn’t let me
Yet my passion for death overcame the body’s will to survive
I continued on a stony cracked pathway, towards the centre of this marvelous park
Its beauty was like needles punchering my eyes
For their beauty was of something mine eyes not deserving
The pathway lay dense in plant life
The surrounding edges covered in scores of lovely bright red roses intertwined with deep purples roses
Within the gaps of these tiny plants, as they await their own destiny, lay bulging red strawberries
I had never had a freshly picked strawberry
I always was told it was of the most succulent flavor
Sweet, rich and juicy to the last fragment
- The same idea, a man, had about me
Yet I had not wanted to be that
And my beauty had been my downfall
I had knelt down on my knees to detach this bright red, luscious fruit from its life support
It was hidden between a deep purple rose and that of a blood red one
The shadows of these flowers had converged upon the pathway to form a vague yet beautiful, cracked heart
The cracks in the pathway had caused that magical effect
My heart ached in thought, as it had depicted mine own
I had shaken my head to enjoy the blissful moment I had entered
I reached for the half-hidden fruit
Brushed the motionless plant as tiny droplets crept and seeped into my skin
Swallows above, twittered happily in accordance
- Startled, I retracted my arm
Symmetric birds, corresponding instantly in every movement, perched on a nearby branch
Light that had gleamed past the cover provided by the tree’s canvas
Highlighted the tiny bodies of the identical birds as it appeared rays of light had sprouted out their sides
- They effortlessly glided away
I returned my attention to the succulent strawberry waiting amongst the flowers
Without any further hesitation, plucked the fruit
The weight was incredible in comparison to the miniature size it appeared to be
I plunged it towards my watering mouth
- And sank in my teeth
A taste of sour, bitter liquid coated my mouth, spreading deeper down my hollow throat
I spat it out and regretted every moment of that distaste
- The bitterness would stay until the end
I proceeded through the green, lively archway formed by two of the elder trees
As I breached through that grand opening
A bright light caught my eyes, for the sun had directed its rays towards me
I regained visibility and was but a few feet, from death
A great wave of insecurity struck me yet again, as my legs wobbled and my skin tingled
- But I had decided
I approached that newly painted, black railing that would secure anyone who could plunge to their death
- Oh, the irony
I wore that day my favourite outfit, but I won’t go into detail, cause it wouldn’t matter anyway
I rested my hand upon the railing and felt the damp coldness it had held
I swayed my hand from side to side, as droplets had reunited with former friends, and
Upon their reunion, they met a new acquaintance
- Paint
I lifted my hand to see the newly converged friends
I had stood for man moments in front of death, contemplating within my own mind, the battles I had overcome
I murmured soundless words under my breath that would allow me to,
To understand why
- I had no one to protect, or to protect me
- I wept
My tears itched at my cheek, yet I resisted the impulse to wipe
As it flowed to the end of my smooth chin
My eye caught a figure advance behind me
And there he was, the man in white, proceeding his stride toward me
I couldn’t help, but form yet another crystal tear as it dropped toward the earth
He stopped, in a peculiar way, but why?
Whenever he attempted to move a limb, a vein alongside his neck would expand and sweat would drop down his forehead
His face would not cease from that stare, the stare that seemed to say
- I do not understand this world
He started to glide towards the wet ground
I saw but a tear drop from his white face is I adjusted him from my vision
For as he dropped, I had leaped
- Like the two symmetric swallows
I plunged toward the cold liquid below and noticed the swallows above
And in the time of infinite seconds, I finally understood who he was
- My Guarding Angel
Sever Barratt
20/06/08
Tags: Angel
